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Montreat C WHE Volume IX, Number 6 Montreat, NC 28757 February 27, 2008 The Few, the Beautiful: King of Hearts 2008 Elizabeth Hamilton For one night only, four outrageously sexy guys appeared on one stage, giving the crowd exactly what they wanted: beauty combined with fun. It could only be King of Hearts at Montreat College. Almost the entire school crowded into Upper Anderson Auditorium on Monday, February 11 to witness the finest display of the male species. The contestants sang, danced—and yes, they even stripped for us. Outrageously scandalous and over the top with laughs, this years King of Hearts was by far the best one yet. Almost every student I spoke with agreed. The contestants for this year were freshman Josh Oksne- vad, sophomore Phil Graf, junior Chad Britts, and senior Doug Gcbhart. The pageant opened with a very touching love song by Craig Walston and Joe Clement: “Tape of Love: Tie Sticky Stuff.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the house— and when I say that, I don’t mean tears of sadness. I’m talking about tears of laughter. Pete Taylor was emcee, and his hilarious jokes— and very questionable wardrobe— made him almost worthy of winning the contest himself In between the competitions, Pete kept the crowd entertained with his impressions of Peyton Man ning, Lance Armstrong, and (of course) Dwight Schrute. Among the most important people of the night—besides the contestants, of course—were the celebrity judges that Montreat was lucky enough to engage for the evening. Queen Elizabeth I, Dr. Emmett Brown, and even Jessica Simpson all took time out of their busy lives to grace us with their presence. Between tough judging decisions and creating interview questions for the contestants, the judges did a fabulous job, and it should not go unmentioned. The first portion of the pageant was the intro competition. Josh opened up with his own rendition of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” Phil came next with his video of girls chasing him around campus, then of course there was the ran dom piano solo, and then back to more chasing. Chad transformed himself into Borat for his intro video. And finally—the best intro of the four—there was Doug. Not only was it live, instead of being recorded, but it was also an impressive magic trick. Several girls danced around the stage in choreographed symmetry, twirl ing gigantic playing cards (one be ing the King of Hearts, of course). When the smoke came up and the music finished, the girls dropped the cards and there stood Doug. Next there was the swimsuit competition. The performance that stood out in everyone’s mind was Phil’s strip tease. He was just “too sexy” for himself, and the crowd was curious to see how far he would go. Fortunately for us, he stopped when he reached his swimsuit. My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my versesfor the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer. Psalm 45:1 For the talent portion, the au dience got the chance to stand up and sweat off a few pounds with Doug Simmons’ exercise session. Chad/Borat wowed the audience with a lovely, James Blunt inspired song about the school, entitled “Montreat is the Best.” Phil played a human guitar for his love song. And the audience was notably grossed out by Josh’s talent, who ate live worms while singing. The judges then had some time to give their responses to what they thought about the perfor mances so far. Dr. Emmett Brown commented that Phil Graf’s video was very similar to his college experience—and Queen Elizabeth I said that, after 240 years, she was having one of the best times of her life. In addition to the other sec tions of the pageant, there was a new event this year: the walk-off. This was a very intense competi tion in which one contestant had to walk down the runway and perform a special move, which the other three contestants then had to copy. There were some amazing stunts: Phil grabbed the audience’s attention by his tuck and roll move. Josh stole the mo ment when he fell off-stage into the judge’s area, and Doug got the crowd going with his jump- ’n’-split. But it was Chad who dominated the walk-off Dressed as Borat, Chad topped every move the other contestants made. The last event for the eve ning—and the most difficult— was the question and answer portion with the judges. The questions were interesting and the responses were just as good; the judges really kept the contes tants on their feet. In true Jessica Simpson style, the blonde judge asked one of the contestants, “My favorite food is chicken of the sea; what’s yours ?” And Dr. Emmett Brown asked Borat, “If you were president, what would you do about immigration?” This year’s King of Hearts was an event that no student should have missed. Some students ar rived thirty minutes early to get a good seat, and in the end there was standing room only. The talent was off the charts and the laughs were never-ending. In the end, it was Chad, with his Borat persona, who won the title, but everyone who participated in the competition did an outstand ing job. The performances were unforgettable, as well as the guys. Leaving the competition, all I could hear were students chat- ting, giggling, discussing the contestants, and debating which. performances were the best. Yet again. Montreat put on a fabulous King of Hearts event, and only time will tell if next year’s will be just as good, or even better. I
Montreat College Student Newspaper
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Feb. 27, 2008, edition 1
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